In real estate, one of the most common phrases I hear from agents is, “My client ghosted me.” It’s a convenient way to explain why a lead went cold or stopped responding. But here’s the truth: No one is ghosting you. They either don’t remember you, don’t feel connected to you or don’t see your value — and that’s something you can fix.

It’s easier to say you’ve been ghosted than it is to admit that your follow-up lacked consistency, personality or intention. Maybe you didn’t send properties tailored to their needs. Maybe you avoided sending a video text because you were uncomfortable on camera. Or maybe you stopped reaching out altogether after a couple of attempts, hoping the next lead would be quicker or easier.

Ghosting isn’t the problem. Inconsistent and unintentional follow-up is.

Follow-up is the game changer

I’ve coached hundreds of agents across the country, and the No. 1 thing that separates the top converters from everyone else isn’t years in the business, a huge marketing budget, or an impressive sales history — it’s follow-up.

Not just any follow-up — consistent, intentional, human follow-up.

Data shows that more than 80% of appointments happen between the eighth and twelfth touchpoints. Yet fewer than 25% of Realtors reach out more than three times. Most give up far too soon, leaving opportunities on the table simply because they didn’t follow through.

If you want more business, you need to get more relentless about your process.

Touchpoints that actually matter

When you follow up, don’t just check a box. Make every interaction valuable. If you’re sending listings, include a note about what you think they’ll like and why. Follow that up with a text or call saying, “I just sent over a few options — would love to know what you liked or didn’t like so I can refine things.”

It’s not about flooding their inbox or calling every day — it’s about building a relationship through meaningful, relevant communication.

Use video. Yes, it’s uncomfortable at first, but it builds connection and trust in ways that text can’t. Show up in their world — send them useful content, comment on their social media, invite them to connect with your brand through YouTube or your Google Business page.

Be creative. Be consistent. Be real.

Life happens — and it’s not about you.

Sometimes a lead goes quiet, and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. Maybe they got sick. Maybe they lost their job. Maybe there was a death in the family. Their home search is not the only thing happening in their life.

Our instinct is to take it personally or assume they’ve moved on, but more often than not, they just hit pause. And if you disappear during that pause, someone else will be there when they press play again.

Set realistic expectations with yourself. You can’t control when they respond, but you can control when and how you reach out. Keep showing up, keep providing value and trust that consistency will pay off.

Make it about them, not you

Many agents enter conversations ready to pitch — to prove their value, share their knowledge, close the deal. But the most powerful thing you can do is listen. Ask better questions. Find out what’s driving their move, what they’re nervous about, what matters most to them. Then tailor your support and education to what they actually need.

Seek first to understand, then to be understood. When people feel seen, heard and helped, they respond. They don’t ghost.

Flip the mirror: Are you ghosting them?

Here’s a tough question: How often are you the one doing the ghosting?

You forget to follow up. You don’t respond quickly. You send a generic email instead of a personalized message. You rely on a drip campaign instead of picking up the phone.

We talk a lot about leads disappearing, but we rarely acknowledge how often we disappear on them.

Take responsibility for your communication. If someone goes quiet, go back and evaluate your approach. Did you actually add value? Did you try enough times? Did you make it personal?

Final thought: Control the controllables

There’s no magic lead source or marketing campaign that will outperform strong follow-up. You don’t need more leads — you need to do more with the leads you already have.

You control your effort, your creativity, your persistence. That’s where the conversion happens.

So the next time a lead “ghosts” you, don’t write it off. Use it as a cue to level up your process. You’re not being ghosted — you’re being given a second chance to show up better.

Jason Posnick is the sales manager at Lamacchia Realty and Crush It In Real Estate.